Look at me! Look at me!
I don't have anything to say, really. I just want some attention. I'm onstage now! Want to see me juggle? Too fuckin' bad. I don't know how. Want me to strip? Are you going to pay me to do so? I thought not. Oh what the heck, I'll go topless anyway. Not like any of you can really see me. Hahahaha! Want me to tell some jokes? I'm not very good at remembering them so I can throw out what I remember. "I knew you'd forget! Where the hell is my toast???" That's the punchline. I'm a little fuzzy on the rest of the joke. Thanks for coming out tonight. I'll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress. :cute:

BOO! You suck! :twisted:

Want to watch me skin a cat? I have a pocket knife and a book I checked out of the library, titled "More Than One Way to Skin a Cat". I can try various methods on Fabu and see which works best. :twisted:

Don't rag on the pole cat or you'll end up with a F carved on your fanny, too, Implosion. She's wicked! *hiss spit* :lol:

Yeah..listen to the dark one. The only stripping this feline will be doing is a one on one session with.....hang on, I have to check my schedule. Hey why are there all these names crossed off and changed to Dark Lord? :shock:

Pay no attention to that pole cat in heat. This is still the Implosion Comedy Hour. Did you hear the one about the snakecharmer, the astronaut, and the cowboy who walked into a bar? Tell it to me because I haven't heard it. lololololololol!

Step right up and get ready for paper clip racing! I'll put two paper clips on the starting line and flick them both at the same time..sorry, can't do more than two, I only have two hands...and see which one goes further. Yessirree...it's a race to the finish with the honor of being used to clip my sick leave slip to my timesheet at stake. Paper clip A and paper clip B are on the starting line, both eyeing the finish line with intensity. They're evenly matched so this should be an exciting race. Either one of them could take it. There goes the electric pencil sharpener, which is the signal for the race to begin! Paper clip B gets an early lead but veers off course and falls on the floor, disqualifying it from the race. Paper clip A wins by default! *cheers* And I'll be right back after I turn in my timesheet.

Today I'm telling fortunes. Step right up and get your predictions!

Do tell...

*Deals out the taro cards* *Hastily puts them away again when she realizes they're kama sutra poker cards, not taro cards* *Fires up the crystal ball* Aha! In your future, I see someone has left a mark on you...a dark mark. That either means trouble is heading your way or I forgot to wash my hands before using the crystal ball last time. *Wipes at mark with her shirt* Oh! It comes off. I think I leaned in too close last time I read someone's fortune and smeared lipstick on the crystal ball. You'll confront an enemy at work and discover they're actually your long lost brother who you believed to have died in a fire and then you'll be caught in a love triangle between your husband and your first/third/seventh husband and...oh, the crystal ball is sitting on top of the tv guide. That's what's happening on As the Children Spin in the Hospital today. Here, take this fortune cookie. It will tell your fortune. Alas! The onion you are eating is someone else's water lily. Lucky numbers 7,14,21,22,32,45

Idda much preferred we'd continued with the Kama Sutra Poker...

Check back tonight. Wear several layers of clothing because we'll be playing strip poker. :wink: You can still keep going when you've lost all your clothes if you're willing to try some positions. :twisted:

Do me! Do me! Oh, and then tell my fortune, too.

*Gives a Darth a reservation for Kama Sutra poker tonight, table 69* Let's see about your fortune... I'm all out of tea leaves but I have a packet of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows. Let's see if we can make do with that. *Shakes packet, tears it open and pours it into a mug. Adds hot water.* Now take this spoon and stir it slowly...three times clockwise, then three time counterclockwise. Your marshmallows are melting slowly which indicates that you are capable of handling a lot of stress without melting down. Or it could mean that this packet of hot chocolate is old and the marshmallows are stale. Now drink the hot chocolate and I'll examine the remains at the bottom of the cup. There are two small lumps of hot chocolate mix and a coupon for 35 cents off the next box of hot chocolate mix. Sorry about that. Heck, you take a fortune cookie, too. Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today. Lucky numbers 21, 4, 38, 49, 5, 11